If you scroll through my social profiles you can take one glance at my life and think I am single. But the truth is – I’ve been in a happy relationship for over five years.
As a tattoo blogger I suppose I do try to stick to my topic. The only time I think I’ve mentioned my boyfriend in a specific article was my recent sharing of this tattoo I got on our anniversary (in December).
Many writers that focus on one subject (fashion, beauty, whatever) do feel the urge to share intimate details of their personal circumstances. As bloggers, it’s hard not to. Those experiences make up 99% of our lives and when we get into the habit of ‘sharing’ it’s hard to know where to draw the line.
Apart from when we are at work, I spend most (if not all) of my waking (and sleeping!) moments with this individual. So, like so many other fellow influencers out there, why don’t I feel the motivation to document this element of my life?
1. I don’t really think it’s that interesting.
I mean, it is for me, obviously. Our moments together mean more to me than life itself, but in terms of presenting my experiences to the outside world, do you guys really give a shit that we went to Ikea on Sunday?
If you do, please find a hobby. In a world bursting at the seams with art and creativity, there are much better ways for you to be spending your precious time on earth, trust me.
Some bloggers do capture these seemingly boring outings. Despite the fact that they have millions of followers who would disagree with me, I can’t help but think, I’m really not that interested. I’m not concerned with the relationship statuses of any of the figures I follow. I scroll through their feeds each day for mental-stimulation in other areas (art, politics, fashion, tattoos, etc.). I guess I subconsciously presume that you all feel the same way about me.
2. Love for me is uneventful and peaceful.
My photography and writing often aims to explore subjects that unsettle me. Scratches that I need to itch. Internal conversations that I need to have about death, life, art, mental health or whatever else. Without blowing the vile look-my-life-is-just-SO-happy-and-perfect-social-media-trumpet (which makes a noise way too often), mine and Simon’s relationship is in a good place.
We go on adventures, we have a laugh, we’re by each other’s side through everything and there’s nothing else I could ask for. But also nothing else I can really say about that. Unfortunately, there’s no interesting drama. I blog about tattoos because I have to create a forum for this growing mountain of topics that we explore and discuss. I don’t really have anything to say about my relationship. If I did, I’d want to say it directly to him, I wouldn’t desire to blow that gloating trumpet in your guys’ faces, as mentioned above.
3. A blog just doesn’t cut the mustard.
I think I am unable to write about my relationship because I can’t quite convey through digital content what it truly means to me in its entirety. How do I feel about Simon? I have no doubt that I’ll be with this person until the day I die. Q-and-A-vlogs or date-night selfies will never successfully represent how intricately and deeply I feel about this person.
Yes, I think about things too much. I’ve come to accept that version of myself and channel it into my writing. In a brain that overthinks everything, my relationship has always remained un-analysed, un-questioned. I never want to change that.
Most of the content we create on the digital surface is quite shallow. We’re capturing a cool view, documenting a tattoo trip, sharing a new outfit – it’s fun, it’s interesting and it can, with the right motivations, be inspiring. But it doesn’t often dig deep enough to reach the endless depths of our souls. Those sensations, those contemplations, are so sacred, so difficult to communicate… that attempting to signify them with a selfie just doesn’t do them justice.
4. These times are for US.
There’s also something quite beautiful about cherishing special moments by keeping them to yourself. I live in a world when digital media is my every waking minute: blogging on here, writing for myself, working with other brands. My bond with this other human being is perhaps the only element of my life un-touched by the world’s constant need to share itself. I really like that.
I repeat this phrase all the time – every single person is different. Some find great joy and fulfilment in documenting their love lives, and that’s so great. Whatever brings you absolute happiness… roll with it, and never let go.